Last Week On TV: From The Ashes To Jack Whitehall's Dad
Ah the Ashes. In recent years the Ashes have turned from something that was wholly and completely unattainable, into Jodie Marsh: they’re easy, you just have to turn up, polish your balls and aim for...
View ArticleThe Week In Weird TV: Ducks, David Icke And Space Invaders
Let’s start with ITV4. Yes you heard right. That slightly slow member of the ITV fold, that an Edwardian family would have locked in the attic and pretended didn't exist. But it does. And it’s home to...
View ArticleThe Week In Weird TV: From Kangaroo Dundee To Kavos
When Mandela arrived at the pearly gates last week, Saint Peter would have greeted him like an old drinking buddy. A fist-pump, a high-five, a hug and pat on the bum as Madiba strolled through in some...
View ArticleThe Week In Weird TV: Keane, Viera And Lord Lucan
When the history of our age is written two leaders will stand out from the rest, like diamonds in a coal mine. Yes, you guessed it, those sparkling jewels are Patrick Vieira and Roy Keane. These two...
View ArticleThe Week In Weird TV: Nazi Megastructures And Gordon Ramsey's Face
Those ruddy Nazis. Just when you think they can’t get any worse you find out they built sodding megastructures. Is there no end to the evil? I mean, I knew they were bad, but this takes the biscuit....
View ArticleThe Week In Weird TV: Doggy Style & David Blaine
Middle America is quite frankly astonishing. It is the most fertile source of television programme ideas since the Nazi’s. It is TV’s muse – the Edie Sedgewick to countless pungent, long-haired...
View ArticleThis Week In Weird TV: Lionel Blair and Living Dolls
Have you been watching Celebrity Big Brother? Nor had I until Sunday night. I was only vaguely aware that it was still on at all. The programme is like that guy who turns up to a party and is fun for...
View ArticleThe Week In Weird TV: Splash And Extreme Fishing
The very first thing to say about Splash! is that any programme that thinks it’s ok to have an exclamation mark in the title should be regarded with the same sort of suspicion as men who undo three...
View ArticleThe Week In Weird TV: Millionaire Matchmaker And The Zoo Next Door
Think of the shallowest thing you can. Now imagine leaving it in the Gobi desert for thirty years so that it becomes a lifeless husk of ash, and you just might just begin to get somewhere close to the...
View ArticleThe Week In Weird TV: Rich Kids In Beverly Hills And Ben Fogle In India
If you scroll through your TV guide, past the plus ones and old repeats of The Crystal Maze you will eventually come across a channel named E!. E Entertainment is a network devoted entirely to the...
View ArticleThe Week In Weird TV: Living With Parasites And Vanilla Ice
You know what you never hear about these days? Tapeworms. They’re a bit like moustaches: people used to have them in the seventies but now they just seem like carelessness. However, last week they made...
View ArticleThe Week In Weird TV: Super Dogs And John Barrowman
Imagine the least offensive TV programme you can? Imagine a programme so light that a gentle fart from Kate Middleton would send it spiralling through the air. Now imagine that it’s presented by...
View ArticleITV Taking The Piss Out Of Joey Essex Is Long
Joey Essex is what would happen if David Beckham was capable of parthenogenesis: a super distilled version, who probably finds himself walking into a lot of lampposts. Even Joey himself would agree...
View Article